Some books give answers. Others change the way you see the structure of everything. This one does both — quietly and logically.

💡Please read this page carefully before making assumptions. This isn’t a blog, nor a trend. It’s a map — and it’s built on structure, not speculation.

The book Your Social World Explained introduces the Socionics model of person…

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This isn’t just a book. It’s a mirror — and a map. If you’ve ever struggled to explain yourself or decode others, Socionics might be the key to understanding your social world.

Explore Socionics theorem, uncovering personality patterns and social relationships through a structured lens. This piece is inspired by the book Your Social World Explained — a g…

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If you’ve ever felt like the observer in the room — analysing, structuring, refining — you might relate more than you realise to the LII type. This one’s for the architects.

Have you ever wondered what makes you tick, or why certain mental activities come so naturally while others feel like sandpaper on your brain?

Welcome to the world of the LII — Logica…

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What if your quirks weren’t flaws — but indicators of your edge? Socionics helps you see the structure behind your strengths, and use them strategically.

Every individual has a unique edge over others — a natural zone of competence that comes easily to them but may be hard for others to replicate. Socionics gives language and structure to that edge.

At it…

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If you’ve ever felt boxed in by traditional personality systems like Myers-Briggs, Socionics might be the structural upgrade you didn’t know you needed. Here's a short primer to get you oriented.

I would firstly describe the word socionics as decentralised and esoteric. While that may sound off-putting at first, this is what makes it so fascinating. It h…

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For the next two weeks, I’m opening up Your Social World Explained to a 14-day free trial. This is my way of saying thank you for being part of this journey and a chance for you…

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I hope you’re doing well!

I wanted to share a quick update to ensure you stay connected with all my latest news and updates. If you haven’t already, please follow my new primary X profile https://x.com/SpencerStern. My alt identity X account “JH” has now become defunct, as it successfully served its purpose — to conclusively expose t…

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🔍 Stage 1: Pre-conscious; Bicameral Stage 1 - Imagine your mind at a point where it feels like external voices and visions dictate every action. Like an unseen puppeteer pulling your strings, these directives feel as though they come from an authoritative source outside yourself. In the realm of psychiatry, this stage can metaphorically represent the moments immediately following a traumatic event, where one feels utterly lost, their actions and reactions seemingly not their own. Psychoactive drugs can serve as a temporary bridge in this chasm, reducing one's consciousness to a manageable level, alleviating overwhelming distress, and providing a semblance of control.

However, the journey doesn't end in this stage. Like dawn breaking after a dark night, the transition to a more self-directed state of mind is both necessary and natural.

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As we stand on the brink of a new era in mental health care, I find myself reflecting on the journey thus far. The road has been long, often winding through shadows and light, but it's on this path that I've witnessed the dawn of a revolutionary approach to mental wellness—an approach that harmonizes the wisdom of traditional practices with the boundless potential of modern innovation.

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The journey begins in the heart of a paradox: the pursuit of financial success can both fuel and foil our mental health. On one hand, economic stability offers a sense of security, a foundation upon which we can build dreams and aspirations. On the other, the relentless chase for wealth can become a breeding ground for stress, anxiety, and a host of mental health challenges.

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Imagine standing at the entrance of an intricate maze, the paths ahead twisted and unknown. That's the bewildering reality for countless individuals embarking on the quest for mental health clarity, myself included. Misdiagnosis isn't just a word; it's a world where every wrong turn leads to a mirage of understanding, only to vanish upon closer inspection.

In the early years, my experiences were like those of many others—filled with high hopes dashed by the harsh reality of incorrect labels. I was a square peg being forced into round holes, labelled with conditions that didn't fully encompass the complexities of my experiences. Each misdiagnosis, from bipolar disorder to various personality disorders, felt like a new layer of confusion, a maze within a maze, obscuring the path to true understanding and effective treatment.

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In this memoir, you are invited to journey through the intricate tapestry of my life, particularly focusing on my recovery from a challenging episode of mental illness. This narrative weaves together my experiences with bipolar disorder, the impact of abrupt medication cessation, and the hard-earned lessons on the importance of mindful medication management. Interspersed are my explorations in technology, especially my affinity for Linux, which serves as a metaphor for my desire for freedom and control in life. Philosophical musings, reflections on social interactions, and insights into personal development are candidly presented, offering a raw, unfiltered glimpse into my world. This story is not just about struggles; it's a testament to resilience, a voyage of self-discovery, and a reminder of the indomitable spirit within us all.

Introduction

This memoir unfolds my journey through various phases of life, each marked by unique challenges and revelations. 

1. The Onset of the Storm: Recognizing Bipolar Symptoms - Here, I share the early signs of bipolar disorder, reflecting on the subtle yet profound changes in my mood and behaviour.

2. A Technological Refuge: Embracing Linux and Open-Source - This chapter dives into my passion for technology, highlighting how Linux became a symbol of resilience and independence in my life.

3. Navigating the Tides of Mental Health: The Medication Dilemma - I discuss the complexities of medication management in bipolar disorder, including the consequences of abrupt cessation.

4. Philosophical Interludes: Contemplations on Life and Existence - This part explores my philosophical musings, offering insights into my worldview and introspections.

5. In the Maze of Social Dynamics: Friendships and Beyond - I recount experiences with social interactions, emphasising the impact of friendships and relationships on my mental health journey.

6. Lifestyle and Coping: From Smoking to Self-Care - Lifestyle choices and their role in coping with mental health issues are the focus here, from smoking to embracing self-care practices.

7. Professional Pursuits: The Search for Meaning in Work - I reflect on my career journey, discussing the pursuit of fulfilment and purpose in professional life.

8. Emerging from the Shadows: Lessons Learned and Moving Forward - This chapter highlights key lessons learned and how they shaped my path to recovery and personal growth.

9. Epilogue: A New Dawn - Concluding the memoir, I share thoughts on the new beginnings and continued journey of self-discovery and healing.

Each chapter is a piece of a larger puzzle, piecing together the story of struggle, resilience, and eventual triumph.

Chapter 1: The Onset of the Storm: Recognizing Bipolar Symptoms

In this chapter, I narrate the beginnings of my journey with bipolar disorder. It starts with recalling the first, often subtle, indications that something was amiss—a fluctuation in mood, an inconsistency in thought patterns, and a gradual escalation of emotional intensity. These early signs were easy to dismiss as mere quirks of personality or fleeting responses to the day's stresses. However, as time passed, these symptoms became more pronounced, painting a clearer picture of a mental health condition that demanded attention.

I reflect on the initial reluctance to seek help, a common thread in many mental health narratives. The inner turmoil of acknowledging a problem, the fear of stigma, and the uncertainty about the future form a poignant part of this journey. The chapter dives deep into the emotional landscape of this period: the highs and lows, the internal debates, and the eventual realisation that professional help was essential.

Through personal anecdotes and introspective insights, this chapter sets the foundation for understanding the complexities of living with bipolar disorder. It's a candid exploration of the early stages of a condition that is often misunderstood, aiming to shed light on the importance of early recognition and intervention.

—

Reflecting now, it's clear the first signs were there, subtle yet insidious. My moods began to swing more wildly than the pendulum of an old clock, a fact I brushed off as just 'being moody.' It was more than that, though. One day, I'd be the life of the party, filled with a boundless energy that felt like riding the top of a wave. The next, I'd plummet into an abyss of lethargy, where even getting out of bed seemed a Herculean task.

I remember vividly the confusion, a mind buzzing with a noise of thoughts that refused to quieten down. It was like living in a constant state of overdrive, with no off switch. Nights were the worst – lying awake, staring at the ceiling, my brain refusing to shut down. Sleep, when it came, was fitful and unrefreshing.

The turning point was a conversation with a friend, who pointed out how my behaviour had become increasingly erratic. It was a jolt, a wake-up call. I realised then that what I was experiencing wasn't normal 'ups and downs.' It was something deeper, something that needed addressing.

That realisation was the beginning of a journey, one filled with challenges and learnings. Accepting that I needed help wasn't easy, but it was necessary. It was the first step towards understanding and managing what I would come to know as bipolar disorder.

—

As I close this chapter, I reflect on the early days of my bipolar journey with a mix of nostalgia and insight. These initial experiences laid the foundation for my understanding of mental health, marking the beginning of a long, enlightening journey.

Chapter 2: A Technological Refuge: Embracing Linux and Open-Source

In this chapter, I dive into my fascination with technology, particularly my discovery and embrace of Linux and open-source software. It was more than a mere interest; it became a refuge, a world where I felt in control amidst the chaos of my mental health struggles.

I recall the first time I replaced Windows with Linux on my old laptop. The sense of achievement was immense, akin to unlocking a door to a new realm of possibilities. It wasn't just about the software; it was a metaphor for freedom, for taking control of my life's direction in a time when so much seemed beyond my grasp.

There were challenges, of course. The learning curve was steep, mirroring my own personal challenges. Each new command learnt, every problem solved in the terminal, felt like a small victory against the larger backdrop of my life's ruckus.

This chapter is not just a tale of technological discovery. It's a story of finding solace in an unexpected place, and how embracing the open-source ethos paralleled my journey towards mental resilience.

—

Delving into the world of Linux, I was initially overwhelmed. Each command in the terminal was a new language to learn, each error message a puzzle to solve. Yet, there was an exhilarating sense of achievement with each small victory. I recall the first time I successfully installed a program from the terminal. It was a moment of triumph, akin to solving a complex riddle.

As I grew more proficient, my confidence soared. Linux became a canvas for creativity and exploration. I experimented with different distributions, each with its unique quirks and features. Ubuntu, with its user-friendly interface, was a gateway, but soon I ventured into more complex systems like Arch and Debian. The deeper I delved, the more I appreciated the philosophy behind open-source: a community-driven, collaborative effort where knowledge was a shared commodity, not a guarded secret.

This journey mirrored my own path to recovery. In the open-source community, I found parallels to my struggles and aspirations. Just as I sought to understand and customise my operating system, I worked towards understanding myself, learning to manage my moods and thoughts in a way that was uniquely suited to me.

—

Concluding this chapter, I appreciate how my foray into Linux mirrored my quest for control and clarity in life. It was more than a technical pursuit; it was a metaphor for my broader journey towards self-discovery and empowerment.

Chapter 3: Navigating the Tides of Mental Health: The Medication Dilemma

In this chapter, I confront the complex and often fraught journey of managing medication for bipolar disorder. It's a candid exploration of the trials and errors, the hopes pinned on each new prescription, and the daunting realisation of their limitations and side effects.

I delve into the critical moment of deciding to cease medication abruptly, a decision that, in hindsight, was fraught with risk. The repercussions were immediate and profound, a testament to the delicate balance of mental health management.

This part of my story is not just about the physical effects of medication but also the psychological battle. The constant questioning of whether medication was a crutch or a cure, the struggle for normality amidst a sea of side effects, and the ultimate lesson learned – the importance of a cautious, informed approach to medication changes.

Through personal anecdotes, I aim to shed light on the complexities of mental health treatment, the importance of medical guidance, and the hard-earned wisdom that came from this challenging experience.

—

It felt like a double-edged sword - offering stability on one hand but bringing a host of side effects on the other. I remember staring at the pill bottle, a daily reminder of the delicate balance I was trying to maintain. Each tablet was a negotiation between wellness and side effects.

Then came the pivotal decision to stop medication abruptly. I convinced myself it was the right choice, seeking freedom from what I perceived as chemical shackles. The aftermath was a turbulent journey. My moods became unpredictable, my thoughts scattered. The stark contrast to the medicated stability was alarming, a clear sign of how crucial these medications were.

This experience taught me valuable lessons about respecting the complexity of mental health treatment. It underscored the importance of professional guidance and the dangers of self-medication. In hindsight, this phase was a turning point, leading to a deeper understanding of my condition and a more thoughtful approach to managing it.

—

In summing up this chapter, I reflect on the lessons learned from my medication journey. It taught me the importance of informed choices and seeking professional advice, underscoring the complexities of managing mental health.

Chapter 4: Philosophical Interludes: Contemplations on Life and Existence

In this chapter, I delve into the realm of my philosophical thoughts and introspections. It's a journey through the mental landscapes shaped by my experiences with bipolar disorder, where I grapple with questions of existence, purpose, and the nature of reality.

These musings are not abstract exercises; they are deeply rooted in the trials and tribulations of my life. I explore the meaning of happiness, the concept of self, and the pursuit of authenticity in a world that often seems chaotic and unpredictable.

This chapter serves as a window into my soul, revealing how my mental health journey has influenced and been influenced by my philosophical inquiries. It's a testament to the power of introspection in understanding oneself and finding a path through life's complexities.

—

During my journey, I often found myself lost in philosophical thought. I pondered the nature of happiness, questioning whether it was an attainable state or a fleeting moment. These thoughts often came at night, under the quiet canopy of stars, when the world seemed both vast and intimate.

I questioned the essence of 'self.' Who was I beneath the layers shaped by society and circumstance? This introspection led me down paths of existential thought, where I grappled with ideas of free will and destiny. Was my life a series of predetermined events, or was I the architect of my fate?

These contemplations were more than mental exercises; they were reflections of my inner turmoil and search for meaning. They offered a respite from the daily struggles, a chance to transcend the immediate and touch the eternal.

—

Ending this chapter, I look back on my philosophical musings as essential elements of my journey. They provided a deeper understanding of myself and my place in the world, amidst the challenges of mental health.

Chapter 5: In the Maze of Social Dynamics: Friendships and Beyond

In this chapter, I explore the intricate maze of social interactions and relationships that have shaped my journey. The focus is on the diverse spectrum of my friendships and how they've impacted my mental health and personal growth.

I reflect on the varying dynamics of these relationships, from the deep connections that provided support during my most challenging times, to the more casual acquaintances that offered a different perspective on life. I discuss the role of trust, empathy, and mutual understanding in building and maintaining these relationships.

Throughout the chapter, I weave anecdotes and insights from my experiences, highlighting the joys, challenges, and lessons learned from my social interactions. It's a candid look at how my bipolar disorder influenced my relationships and, conversely, how these relationships influenced my understanding and management of the disorder.

—

Reflecting on my social journey, I realise how my friendships mirrored the fluctuations of my mental state. The camaraderie during upbeat phases was starkly contrasted by the isolation in my lows. I recall times when friends became lifelines, their understanding and patience shining through my darker days.

Yet, not all interactions were smooth. I struggled with misunderstandings and the fear of revealing too much. Learning to navigate these social waters was a skill hard-earned, balancing openness with the need for personal boundaries.

In this chapter, I share tales of friendships that thrived and those that faltered, each teaching me valuable lessons about empathy, trust, and the complexities of human connections.

—

This chapter concludes with a recognition of the profound impact of friendships on my life. The experiences, both uplifting and challenging, highlight the vital role of social connections in navigating the journey of mental health.

Chapter 6: Lifestyle and Coping: From Smoking to Self-Care

In this chapter, I explore the evolution of my lifestyle choices and coping mechanisms throughout my mental health journey. It's a candid account of my struggles with habits like smoking and how I gradually shifted towards healthier practices of self-care.

I discuss the role these habits played in managing my mental state, reflecting on the immediate comfort they provided versus their long-term impact. The journey from reliance on such habits to embracing self-care practices like mindfulness and exercise is a significant aspect of my recovery story.

This chapter is not just about changing habits; it's about the broader transformation in how I approached my well-being, learning to nurture my mental, physical, and emotional health.

—

The heart of this chapter lies in my journey from detrimental habits to nurturing practices. Smoking, initially a solace during tumultuous phases, became a crutch I leaned on heavily. I detail the struggle to break free from its grip, the numerous attempts, and the eventual triumph.

Embracing self-care was transformative. I narrate my initial scepticism towards practices like yoga and meditation, and how they gradually became cornerstones of my daily routine. This shift wasn't just about physical health; it was deeply intertwined with my mental well-being.

This chapter is a testament to the power of positive change, illustrating how small steps can lead to significant improvements in overall health and quality of life.

—

This chapter concludes with a reflection on the profound impact of lifestyle changes on my mental health journey. From breaking free from the habit of smoking to embracing self-care, each step represented a milestone in my quest for a healthier, more balanced life. It’s a journey marked by setbacks and victories, but most importantly, it underscores the power of personal agency in the path to wellness.

Chapter 7: Professional Pursuits: The Search for Meaning in Work

In this chapter, I delve into my professional journey and the search for meaning in my career. It's a reflection on my aspirations, the challenges I faced in the workforce, and the journey towards finding a sense of purpose in my work.

I discuss the contrasting experiences of conventional employment and my forays into entrepreneurship, detailing the highs and lows of each path. This narrative explores the inner conflict between pursuing a stable, traditional career and the desire to forge my own path in the world of business.

Throughout the chapter, I share insights into how my mental health journey intersected with my professional life, influencing my decisions and shaping my perspective on work and success.

—

The essence of this chapter lies in my professional odyssey. I narrate my experiences in various roles, from the confinements of a traditional 9-to-5 job to the thrilling yet daunting world of entrepreneurship. Each experience was a lesson in self-discovery, challenging my perceptions of success and fulfilment.

I recount the mental toll of juggling work expectations with personal health, and the realisation that professional satisfaction is deeply intertwined with mental well-being. My venture into entrepreneurship, while fraught with uncertainty, was a leap towards aligning my career with my personal values and aspirations.

This chapter is a candid portrayal of my search for meaning in work, an exploration of how career choices can profoundly impact one's sense of identity and purpose.

—

As this chapter draws to a close, I reflect on my professional journey with a sense of understanding and acceptance. The quest for meaningful work was not just about career success; it was integral to my overall mental health and happiness. This exploration has taught me the value of aligning personal values with professional aspirations, and the profound impact this alignment has on personal fulfilment and identity.

Chapter 8: Emerging from the Shadows: Lessons Learned and Moving Forward

This chapter is about the culmination of my journey and the lessons I've learned along the way. It's a reflection on how my experiences with bipolar disorder, my passions, and my professional life have shaped the person I am today.

I discuss the key insights gained from dealing with mental health challenges and how they've informed my approach to life. This includes a newfound appreciation for resilience, the power of self-awareness, and the importance of seeking support when needed.

The chapter also looks forward, contemplating the future with a sense of hope and determination. It's a testament to the growth and healing that can emerge from life's most challenging experiences.

—

In the heart of this chapter, I reflect on the profound lessons learned from my journey. I talk about the resilience forged through my struggles with bipolar disorder, and how it has become a source of strength. The importance of self-awareness and the courage to seek help when needed are themes I explore deeply.

I also discuss my aspirations for the future, tinged with optimism and a realistic understanding of my challenges. This chapter is about acknowledging the past while looking forward with hope, armed with the wisdom gained from my experiences.

—

As this chapter concludes, I look back at the journey with a sense of gratitude for the lessons it imparted. These experiences have not only shaped me into a more resilient individual but also illuminated the path forward. With hope in my heart and a deeper understanding of myself, I am ready to embrace the future, carrying the wisdom of the past as a guiding light.

Chapter 9: Epilogue: A New Dawn

In the final chapter of this memoir, I reflect on the journey as a whole, considering how each challenge and triumph has led to this moment of new beginnings. It's a contemplation of the future, filled with both uncertainty and excitement.

—

I share my aspirations and hopes, grounded in the lessons of the past. This chapter is not just an end but a starting point for the next phase of my life. It's a moment of looking forward with a sense of peace and anticipation for what lies ahead, embracing the journey with an open heart and mind.

In this introspective finale, I contemplate the entirety of my journey. This reflection is imbued with a sense of newfound clarity and understanding. I acknowledge the pain and challenges of the past but choose to focus on the growth and wisdom they have imparted. Looking ahead, I feel a sense of hopeful anticipation for the future. The journey has been arduous, yet it has carved a path towards a brighter, more informed tomorrow. This chapter is a testament to the enduring spirit of resilience and the ever-present potential for renewal.

—

This final chapter closes with a sense of peace and forward-looking optimism. It marks not only the end of a chapter in my life but also the beginning of a new journey. With lessons learned and experiences cherished, I step into the future with hope, ready to embrace whatever comes next with resilience and an open heart.

Epilogue: The Continuing Journey

In this epilogue, I share my current experiences and progress in the journey towards complete freedom from psychiatric medication. This part of my story is about navigating the complex and often challenging process of deprescription, undertaken with official medical guidance and careful adjustments from oral tablets to oral solutions.

I candidly discuss the impacts of long-term antipsychotic medication, reflecting on the iatrogenic effects that have influenced various aspects of my life – physically, financially, and relationally. This is a tale of unlearning, relearning, and adapting to changes that come with altering long-held medical routines.

More importantly, this epilogue is about hope and empowerment. It’s a testimony to the possibility of change and the importance of agency in one's medical journey. I share insights into the positive transformations I've experienced, the lessons learned, and my aspirations for a future free from the constraints of medication.

This is not just a conclusion to the memoir but an open chapter in the ongoing narrative of my life, a narrative that I hope will resonate with and inspire others on similar paths.

Call to Action

As my journey continues, so does the conversation. I invite you to join me on X (formerly Twitter) where I regularly share my ongoing insights into the deprescription process. Follow my handle @JosephHarvey01 to stay updated on my experiences, including detailed tapering schedule graphs and discussions on receptor occupancy versus dosage.

On X, I welcome both public interactions and direct 1:1 conversations. It's a space where I delve deeper into the nuances of my journey, offering a blend of personal reflections and scientific understanding. Your engagement and support mean a great deal to me, and I look forward to connecting with you there. Together, we can explore the complexities of mental health recovery and share in the journey of learning and growth.

More than fourteen years ago, I started on aripiprazole as the significant switch from olanzapine. Here I am today, the weighing scales hardly waver from the 85kg mark. Countless hours spent in the gym in previous years, strict diets followed, lifestyle modifications attempted - yet, my weight remains the same, as if …

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A Troublesome Start: Diagnosis and Disbelief

Twenty years ago, my life took an unexpected turn when I began to experience anxiety-induced psychosis. This led me onto a path of antipsychotic medication - initially olanzapine and then aripiprazole. It was an uncharted journey that, unfortunately, resulted in a diagnosis of b…

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As a short interlude to my usual posting about my journey to full deprescription I thought it a good time to have a think and write about why I don’t use my real name on X (Formally Twitter) to tackle my specific niche of being an ex-patient, who has clearly experienced iatrogenic harms, conceded or not by the industry, and see how I can shed the whole debacle of getting caught up in the-system from an early age for a transient case of anxiety.

So in an era where personal privacy is increasingly compromised, I have chosen a path less travelled - embracing anonymity on X in regards to discussing mental health matters as only I know them in my ~20 years lived experience. Through my pseudonymous account and AI-stylised avatar (based on a real photo), I have experienced a liberating journey that rekindles the original spirit of the internet. This article delves into the motivations behind my decision and highlights the transformative benefits of anonymity and authenticity in the digital realm.

Embracing Anonymity: In a society where constant surveillance and judgment prevail, going incognito grants me a precious gift: privacy. It frees me from the shackles of societal expectations and enables me to express my thoughts and opinions without fear of personal repercussions. Through my pseudonymous account, I can explore ideas that might otherwise be stifled by norms or personal constraints. For example, I don’t need certain groups and cohorts of people knowing about my ‘campaign’ on Twitter hence I have a real name profile separate which has it’s own target audience and frankly, I spend far less time on it than I do this niche.

Rediscovering Authenticity: By shedding the weight of my real-life identity, I have uncovered a profound sense of authenticity. Each keystroke reveals a part of myself that might have remained hidden. Embracing a pseudonym allows me to be vulnerable and transparent, fostering genuine connections with like-minded individuals who value my thoughts for their essence rather than their association with my real name.

Navigating the Digital Landscape: In the digital realm of Twitter, I navigate as an enigma yet with real lived experience of serious and complex mental health issues to discuss and/or debate, harnessing the power of an AI-generated avatar. The visual representation of my actual photo digitally remixed in Matrix film style, crafted by technology, redirects the focus from physical appearances to the ideas I bring forth, the perspectives I offer, and the knowledge I share. It emphasises that my value lies in intellectual contributions, not the superficialities of appearance.

A Haven of Safety: Anonymity creates a sanctuary from the darker side of the digital world. By safeguarding my true identity, I mitigate the risk of becoming a target for online harassment or malicious intent. It shields my voice from those who seek to silence dissent or suppress creativity. Remaining incognito empowers me to express my opinions freely and engage in meaningful dialogue without the fear of personal attacks. In essence, the only way to ‘fight the system’ as an ex-patient is to do so in this way so that my in-real-life identity can reap the benefits without ties to my online dealing with others - a bit like incorporating a company of my other ‘self’ online to achieve a specific goal and to effectively begin afresh like one might expect when starting a new company separate from one’s personal liabilities and so on, so forth.

Unearthing Connections: Contrary to assumptions that pseudonymity hampers personal connections, I have discovered a vibrant community of like-minded individuals who appreciate the merits of anonymity. Engaging with others who have chosen a similar path allows for connections based on shared interests, ideas, and values. These connections, devoid of biases tied to personal identities, foster enriching and open-minded conversations.

Conclusion: My choice to go incognito on X represents a departure from the real name profiles I have embraced on platforms like Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn etc. While the push for real names was hailed as a progressive step towards authenticity, it came with limitations and risks. Embracing my pseudonymity on a platform like X is a return to the core principles of the early internet, where privacy and the freedom to express oneself anonymously were treasured. It offers me a more balanced approach, recognising that my authenticity and individual privacy can coexist harmoniously. Going incognito empowers me to share my thoughts, beliefs, and passions without fear of damaging my reputation or facing repercussions. It creates a space where I can be true to myself without compromising the privacy and autonomy I inherently deserve. Let us rediscover the power of anonymity and embrace the transformative potential it holds in our digital lives.

Introduction:

When I was first prescribed Aripiprazole as a switch from Olanzapine, little did I know the journey that awaited me. Intended to address my supposed Bipolar 1 diagnosis and the weight gain associated with my previous medication, Aripiprazole brought both relief and unexpected challenges. Over a decade of being on the 15mg maintenance dose, I gradually began to realise the iatrogenic effects that manifested. In this article, I will share my personal experiences and shed light on the hidden consequences of Aripiprazole.

The Initial Effects and Challenges:

Initially, Aripiprazole offered a respite from the weight gain caused by Olanzapine, but it also dulled my mind and creativity. It felt as though my writer's block was induced, leaving me devoid of inspiration. Moreover, I developed various compulsive issues and addictions such as gambling, shopping sprees, and overeating. These challenges persisted until I mustered the courage to confront them.

Recognising the Iatrogenic Effects:

It took over eight years for me to connect the dots between Aripiprazole and my compulsive behaviours. The symptoms were characterised by an inability to control certain habits and addictions, regardless of my own willpower. This insidious nature of the iatrogenic effects made it difficult to identify the true cause of my struggles.

Impact on Well-being and Relationships:

The iatrogenic effects of Aripiprazole took a toll on both my well-being and my relationships. Financial strain resulted from my compulsive gambling, and my marriage faced significant challenges. My wife, unaware of the medication's role, grew frustrated and even threatened divorce, unaware that the medication was effectively responsible for my behaviour.

Seeking Guidance and Reducing Dosage:

After reaching a breaking point, I sought help from the UK's national problem gambling clinic. Cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) provided valuable insights, and an instruction was sent to reduce my Aripiprazole dosage promptly. Gradually, I tapered down from 15mg to 10mg over six months and then to 5mg over another six months. Remarkably, as the dose reduced, so did my compulsive behaviours.

The Lack of Awareness and Support:

Unfortunately, the link between Aripiprazole and compulsive addictions remains largely unrecognised. There is a lack of awareness among healthcare professionals and even within support systems. My family, at times, treated my struggles with contempt, finding it difficult to accept that the medication was to blame.

Coping and Lessons Learned:

Over time, I discovered coping strategies to manage the iatrogenic effects. Staying away from triggers related to gambling became easier as the medication dosage decreased in my system. However, it is crucial to acknowledge that over-medication is a genuine problem, and there is no one-size-fits-all maintenance dose. Better monitoring and early intervention by healthcare providers are essential to address such effects, even if it may be uncomfortable for them to discuss.

Conclusion:

My lived experience with Aripiprazole and its iatrogenic effects has been challenging yet enlightening. It is vital to shed light on the potential consequences of psychiatric medications and advocate for individualised treatment plans. By sharing our stories and demanding better awareness, we can help others navigate their own journeys and prevent unnecessary hardships caused by over-medication.

Disclaimer: The experiences shared in this article are personal and may not reflect everyone's experience with Aripiprazole. It is crucial to consult with a healthcare professional for personalised advice and guidance.